Reverting

“Your going to talk my ear off at this rate Tracie!” said Kelly sarcastically with a smirk on her face as we both finish the projects we were working on in the deli.

I had been working at the deli for a good month or so, but anyone who knows me knows that I’m a pretty shy and quite person until you get to know me.  All growing up people always told me I was such a kind and quite girl.

I have now been at the deli on-and-off for about 5-6 years now. And most everyone else I work with has been too. So naturally we are all pretty comfortable with each other by now. Conversations from the basic, getting to know you, too conversations about peoples promiscuous relationships and family matters that are better kept at home.

But an on going pattern that I have been noticing going on is gossip. When a person is off that day, or even if their back is literally turned there is whispers of disdain for one another or discussions of how unreasonable our boss is.

After having worked at the deli for a while, Kelly (a lady who I get along with very well, and who is a friend to my boss) once told me that one of the things my boss liked about me was that I don’t “talk” like everyone else.

But over these last few months thinking back I found myself venting my frustrations and opinions to my coworkers in a way I now realize was less than satisfactory.

So what changed? Was it my boss? Maybe. Was it me? Most likely.  How have I gone from that sweet quiet girl to one who gossips with the rest of the group without a second thought to what was coming out of my mouth? I don’t like. Not one bit.

It was today that I realized I need to revert back to who I was when I first started at work.
There were two girls talking quite openly about how upset they were at our boss for various reasons.  Their discussion went from mild irritations to malicious slander.

If I were a new employee working there what would I think hearing these girls talking about my boss like that?

I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to be like those girls. But I found I was slowly becoming so.

So I revert. “To return to a former condition, practice subject or belief.” I’m going to try and go back to that girl who was quite and who minded her own business. I will still joke with the girls at work, and talk about what projects I have been up to or recipes I have tried that weekend, but I will NOT be one to gossip or spread rumors. That’s not me! I have undoubtedly changed over the years, but for the better I believe. And I have many friends to thanks for that. They have burst my little bubble over the years and have helped me to become who I I’m today.

Now, if only I can get back my SWEET Bill Cosby sweater there! :)